Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
