Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
