i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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