so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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