I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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