If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
