I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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