I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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