it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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