so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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