If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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