So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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