there was a trapeze. enough said
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
