wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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