i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
