Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
