Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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