Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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