I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
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