Farmville is her only friend.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
