I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
