My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
