I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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