You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
