Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
