Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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