Your tits are I can't wait for
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
