I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
