If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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