yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
