I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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