Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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