you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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