my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
