You can't motorboat a personality
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
