Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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