That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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