out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
