I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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