I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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