I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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