her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
