your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
