Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
