Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
pray to the hookup gods
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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