I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
