What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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