it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
