I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
