pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
