we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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