lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
