it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
