I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need moral support for this bender
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.