I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN