I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
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JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
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I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude