Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha