so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
