someone threw a dead crab at me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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