New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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