he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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