Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
