dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
