I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
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My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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